i love spice ♡
i've had an unfortunate love life, riddled with abuse and such evils. one of the aspects of girlhood i mourn the most is that first innocent puppy love of adolescence, that ephemeral, naive yet sweet thing. this is something i'll never have, but i'm far into acceptance. i first messaged my sweet girl on may 25th, 2023. and, while i have so many regrets, this is not one of them. i know what it feels like now, to be loved without being used. she cared for me at my lowest, shared my most genuine laughter as much as my tears. it's been a hellish couple of years, but i'm slowly and surely getting better now that i've left highschool behind. i want this to be a celebration for us both.

"soft-lit by the glow of a baby lamp, a plushling's tattered seams are mended away. warmth pools like honey, and the pastel hues of crayons gently colour over the past. in this quiet light, i am re-sown, stitched whole by hands that have only ever known kindness." madohomu art: @mattna_mmm
a letter to spice ♡
dear spice,
i'm so grateful i have met you in this lifetime. your presence is a reassuring, constantly glowing hope that soothes me at night, a hope that lingers even when you're not around. these past years you've made me feel at home like no one else has. when i'm around you, i become a version of me that doesn't see the light most of the time; a childlike, happy, creative fio. i want our relationship to move forward more than anything, i want to spend time with you, to hear your adorable laughter, your complaints, your thoughts and jokes. i want to have more of you, just as i'll give you more of myself. i don't think i'd exchange meeting you for anything in the world, not even any wish that would change my past or fate, because, as long as i'm with you, i'm inspired to be confident and try my best to achieve my desires. you are truly one of the best things that have ever happened to me, you've changed my life for the better and i'm the luckiest being to be loved by such a wonderful girl.


x

the spice shrine ♡
dedicated to my sweet, kind, talented girlfriend who gives me hope and warmth every day. ♡
04.14.2023